Thinking of Hiring a Life Coach.

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Jay Cee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs i couldn't quite make out.

I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."

-Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar.

Departures / Arrivals

Got on the plane at JFK terrfied.

Of leaving everything I love for something unknown. 

Looked at pictures,

Read friends' farewells,

Listened to Bon Iver

cried.

Stopped Over in Shanghai

Everyone spoke to me in Chinese

Thought it was funny

Until I had a problem with my baggage.

Was glad to get on the next plane.

Sat next to a chick from Brooklyn

Who shared her headphones with me

As well as her collection of episodes 

Of Bobs Burgers

Gave her my info.

Looked out the window

Saw vast deserts

And a blue ocean

The color of the sky

Landed in Australia.

Lent my lighter to an Aussie woman

While i waited for my shuttle

Told her I was on working holiday

And the weather was beautiful

"Do you have family here?"

"No, just hoping to meet different people

 and make new friends."

"Give me your number, I'll take care of you

 We filipinos always have each other's backs."

She winked. 

I gave her my number. 

Watched my travels through the window

on the way to the hostel.

Felt far from home

because cars were on the other side of the street,

And I was after all.